General Doctor's Office
by Stripy Giraffe
Summary: Nothing, I say, NOTHING to do with GH. Basically a soap opera where not too much goes right. Love, betrayal, and... not much else. Enjoy :
1. Cast of Characters

**General Doctor's Office**

****

**Main Cast of Characters**

Nicola McCaskill Assistant nurse to Jon, has a crush on Jon

Jonathan (Jon) Conte Doctor, has a crush on Nicola

Loretta (Lory) Stefanopoulos Surgeon. Not the smartest one, either…

Katrina Lawrence Highly intelligent assistant to Lory

Alice He Secretary at the Office

Holly Naughty 'Nurse'

--

Alexandra (Alex) Matsoukas Patient, heart attack

Bella Vad Patient, fleas

Zoe Knox Patient, fractured pelvis

--

Drake Alex's fiancée

Sam Dating Bella. A dog

Ridge Soap star actor. Patient

--

Riana An opera singer

Erik The phantom of the opera, has a crush on Riana

- -

Elya An assassin for hire

Beefy Jail guard

Tofu Jail guard

Paul Jail bird


	2. Episode One

**General Doctor's Office**

**Episode One**

_SCENE ONE_

Dr. Loretta Stefanopoulos pulled on some rubber gloves and prepared for surgery on her latest patient.

"Scalpel." She said stiffly, holding out her hand. Katrina quickly passed the sterile instrument to Lory.

Loretta was very tense this time. She couldn't afford to botch another operation. She worked carefully and quickly, trying to be as efficient as possible.

Lory sighed when her patient – Alexandra – flat lined.

"Not again," she thought. "No – no."

But things were lighting up for Lory. By God was she hungry. She grabbed a chicken and mayo roll and headed out for her lunch break.

_meanwhile…_

Drake sat nervously in the waiting room, staring at the floor. The wedding was in two weeks – the timing couldn't be worse. He fiddles with a thread from his vinyl coat and kept his eyes fixated on the floor.

Suddenly he saw blood red stilettos. Slowly looking up, he saw they belonged to a tall, slender, peroxide blonde wearing a short white dress with a large red '+' on the chest. She wore a deep red lipstick and smoky, silvery eye shadow. She winked lustily at Drake before swaggering off down the hall.

_back in the surgery…_

Suddenly Alex's hear started beating again. The rush of blood to her head made her wake immediately. She felt dizzy.

A mess of things ran through her mind, before she remembered her lover, Drake. She stood and ran out into the hall, pattering down the floor and rushing to her fiancé. She threw her arms around his neck and pashed him passionately before standing back to see his surprised face.

Too late, Alex realised she was not yet stitched up. Her heart flipped out, hitting the green linoleum floor with a KASPLATCH, splattering all over the place.

Luckily, Lory had just polished off her chicken and mayo roll (and washed it down with a can of Pepsi) and had come back into the clinic, dusting off her hands with a self-satisfied expression on her face.

Spotting Alex – and heart, Lory was glad. This could be her last chance to redeem herself. She began to make her way over to the heart.

Holly the naughty nurse came strutting down the hall, walking like a supermodel, displaying herself for Drake. Lory could see what was about to happen.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," cried Lory, flinging herself out towards the heart. She landed about two meters away.

Holly turned her face to see Drake as she walked past, smiling flirtatiously as she swung her hips.

Lory crawled across the floor desperately, commando style, trying to get to the heart. She stretched out her hand to reach it…

But it was too late. Holly sunk the heel of her red stiletto through Alex's heart, not noticing in her quest to be desirable and sexy. And she just kept on walking.

_SCENE TWO_

Alice sat behind the front desk, eating a spoonful of Snow and Yummy Cake. She clicked onto msn, but no one was online. The door of the clinic swung open and in came Bella. Walking behind her was Sam, in a blue shirt and nice ironed trousers.

Bella walked up to the front desk. "I'm here for my appointment with Doctor Conte," she said. Alice nodded, before looking down at Sam.

"Bella… he's so much younger than you… and you know I don't approve of inter-species relationships."

Bella shrugged. "Who am I to argue, if it's love?" she asked. "Besides… what would you know?"

Alice blushed and looked over to the computer screen. "Your appointment is in five minutes," she said.

Bella sat don in a waiting chair, and Sam sat obediently at her feet.

_meanwhile…_

Dr. Conte was preparing for his next patient. He looked down at the patient notes and sighed. "Bella Van…" he muttered. "Fleas?" he slapped his forehead. "If she just stayed away from that dog…"

Jonathan walked over to the store room, opening the door and walking in. He was surprised to see Nicola sorting towels.

Casually, he knocked on the wall. Nicola turned around quickly, stopping when she saw Jon.

"Oh…" she started nervously, "did you want something?"

"Ah, could I have a towel?"

"Sure," Nicola said breathlessly, grabbing a sponge and tossing it to him. "I have to go," she said. As she walked past Jon, she looked up into his eyes for a moment before walking out of the room.

At first, Jon didn't do anything, before swapping the sponge for a nice blue towel, and went back to his office. He called Bella's name over the speakerphone, and smiled at her as she walked into the room.

"Bella," he said, shaking her hand. "Good to see you again."

Bella smiled at him before taking a seat on the other side of his desk.

"Now…" Dr. Conte began, resting his elbows on the desk in that typical doctor-like way. "Fleas?"

"I don't care if you don't want me to see Sam, I'm in love with him and I want to marry him and have his children and be with him for the rest of my life," Bella blurted, taking deep breaths.

Dr. Conte raised his eyebrows. "Right. Well, you'll need to take these tablets, and these ones are for Sam." He handed her two boxes of pills. Bella nodded and stood.

"Thank you for your help," she said stiffly, before leaving, taking Sam with her.

_SCENE THREE_

Katrina was cleaning up in the operating theater. She tidies up the sheets, cleaned all the surgical tools and straightened the curtains. With a pink feather duster she swept the floor and made everything pretty and nice. She neatened up Dr. Stefanopoulos' _Wogs__ Life_ magazines, and was about to head out to get some Snow and Yummy Cake, when she heard a loud shout from down the hall. She placed her hand against the glass and peered out of the room.

"YOU BROKE MY HEART!" Alex was yelling after Holly, who had just passed into another room. Alex noticed Drake looking longingly after the naughty nurse and sent him a look that would freeze a flame. But Drake didn't notice, he was too busy writing D+H 4eva on his hand with a bad quality biro he'd found on the floor next to the magazines (Cleo, Dolly and Things With Wings).

Lory felt her heart shatter simultaneously with Alex's. But, she thought optimistically, there's still hope. Lory grabbed heart, grabbed Alex, and dragged both back into surgery.

Katrina heard the footsteps coming up the hall. She froze, unsure of what to do.

Lory barged into the room, pushing Katrina out into the 'sterile' smelling hall and slamming the door, leaving Katrina quite along, with nothing but 2 and a spoon.

She shrugged and went off to get some Snow and Yummy Cake.


	3. Episode Two

**General Doctor's Office**

****

**Episode Two**

_SCENE ONE_

Alice was sitting at her desk, slowly drawing a pixel doll on the computer. She zoomed out, admiring the beautiful red dress she'd drawn.

Hearing the bell ring and the door swing open, Alice quickly minimized the window and looked up.

Alice froze. The man coming into the clinic was – gorgeous. He gave her a dashing smile and walked up to the front desk.

"Hi," he said. "Are you… Alice?"

Alice felt herself blush. "Uh… how did you know?" She asked, trying to force the heat in her cheeks down. He gave her another stunning smile, before pointing to her nametag.

"Oh, ah… right," said Alice, embarrassed.

"I'm Ridge," he said. "I'm here for my appointment with Dr. Conte…"

Alice nodded a little too enthusiastically, and clicked a few buttons. "Ten minutes. Please have a seat."

Ridge smiled and sat down, picking up a copy of his favourite magazine – Things With Wings – and reading it, enthralled.

_meanwhile…_

Nicola and Jon were preparing for Jon's next patient. Nicola was going to be sitting in on this appointment to assist in her studies becoming a doctor.

Ridge came into the room and collapsed on the bed dramatically. Nicola sat down with a pen and paper, ready to take notes.

"So… Ridge," Jon began. "What seems to be the problem?"

Ridge fanned himself with his hand. "I keep getting these terrible headaches," he complained.

"I see," said Jon. Nicola took some notes. "Well, you can take this quartertone." He handed Ridge some pills that looked suspiciously like Viagra. Nicola took some more notes.

Ridge stood, giving a dashing smile to Jon and Nicola, before heading back out to the front office. He stopped, and walked back up to Alice's desk.

"Are you busy tonight?" he asked smoothly. Alice blushed and looked down.

"Um… no," she said nervously.

"Pick you up here at five?" he asked. Alice became even more nervous.

"Actually, I…"

"Great," he said, smiling at her. Alice felt her insides melt. Ridge walked out of the clinic.

_back in Doctor Conte's office…_

"What notes did you take?" asked Jon, peering over Nicola's shoulder.

"Oh… nothing," said Nicola quickly, tearing out the page and screwing it up.

"Don't be so silly, I'm sure they're fine," said Jon, taking the paper and smoothing it out on the desk. Nicola looked down.

Jon raised his eyebrows as he looked at the paper, with

_Dr. Nicola Conte_

Scrawled across it over and over.

"Oh… I – see," he said. For the first time ever, Nicola saw Jon nervous.

"Err… I have to… go, somewhere, to do – something," Nicola said breathlessly, rushing out of the room and leaving Jon to stare at the page.

_SCENE TWO_

A drop of sweat rolled down Lory's forehead as she peered over Alex's body.

"You connect the… blue with the red?" Lory muttered, connecting the veins. What a pisser that Katrina was not here to help. Lory stitched Alex back up and admired her work.

_meanwhile…_

Katrina was at the café, eating her snow and yummy cake with Alice.

"The trick is to be polite, kind and desirable. Oh… and remember that what you _don't_ see is more sexy."

Alice nodded silently, taking notes on a napkin.

"Now, if he invited you over to his apartment afterwards…"

"WOAH no, I don't think we'll have to worry about _that_ one too much," Alice exclaimed.

Katrina looked into her eyes.

"Okay, tell me," Alice said, putting pen to napkin.

"Go, and stay CCC. Remember you _never_ sleep with them on a first date. They rule is, _do not_ go further than a peck on the cheek. Okay?"

"Okay," said Alice, noting it down.

Katrina continued with her snow and yummy cake.

_back in the surgery…_

Alex woke down.

She closed her eyes and yawned.

She took a shallow outwards breath.

_SCENE THREE_

Alice sat opposite Ridge in the posh restaurant. She wore a simple red dress with a thin pearl necklace, with a white clip in her dark hair.

Ridge smiled at her.

"Tell me about yourself," he said, "I want to know everything." He reached across the table and touched her hand. Alice almost winced, before remembering what Katrina had told her.

"Well, I'm the secretary of the General Doctor's Office," she said, taking a sip of wine. "I've been living in Australia for eighteen years."

"Ah," said Ridge. "Do you like it here?"

"Of course," Alice said. She paused to have a mouthful of spaghetti Bolognese.

**_To Be Continued…._**


	4. Episode Three

**General Doctor's Office**

**Episode Three**

_SCENE ONE_

Alice stretched out as she lazily woke up. She snuggled down into the sheets and rolled over – then almost had a heart attack.

"Oh my… oh, my G – g…"

Ridge rolled over and propped himself up on one arm.

"What is it, dah-ling?" he asked, twirling a strand of Alice's hair around his finger. Alice re-claimed her hair.

"What the hell happened last night?" she asked icily. Ridge shrugged.

"What, baby, you don't remember?"

Alice shook her head.

"Oh. Hah. I guess you were a little drunk, hey? Oh well. Shouldn't you be getting to work?"

Alice mentally slapped herself – she had two minutes to get to work. She began to get up… then, as an afterthought, took the blanket with her.

_meanwhile…_

Katrina paced up and down the halls. She was worried sick about Alice… what if something had gone wrong? After all, it _was_ Alice's first ever date. Should she trust this man? Or was he a freak who should be locked up?

Suddenly Alice barged into the clinic, wearing a man's shirt and pants. Katrina felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"Alice! You're alright!"

"Of course I am," Alice said.

"The man-style look really suits you."

Alice looked down at Ridge's clothes. "Oh… up, thanks," she said, walking over and taking her seat behind the front desk.

"How'd it go?" Katrina asked curiously, walking up to Alice's desk.

Alice looked around nervously. "I – I…" she started. She leaned in close to Katrina. "Wel slept together," she said, her voice a mixture of uncertainty, sadness and urgency.

Katrina's eyes widened.

"Well… not all is lost," Katrina said supportively. "You'll be okay. Do you love him, though?"

Alice shook her head.

"Well… break it off the next time you see him."

"Okay," Alice said softly.

_SCENE TWO_

Alex – who had skin as smooth as a baby's bum, and seemed to be even shorter than yesterday – sat down opposite Lory in her office.

"What did you want to tell me?" Alex asked, sucking her thumb. Lory looked at her, concerned.

"I wanted to discuss something with you to do with your operation," Lory said, placing a piece of paper on the table between them.

"Here's a heart," she explained, drawing a heart shape on the paper. "And… here's your heart." She drew one upside down next to it.

"YOU PUT MY HEART IN BACKWARDS?" Cried Alex, horrified. Lory only nodded.

"Yes. So you're losing your years. This has never happened before, so we're unsure of what will happen. But we are desperately searching for a cure."

Alex had nothing to say. She stood and walked outside, crawling under a bush. Her heard had been broken, she was living life backwards, and her fiancée seemed to be thinking of someone else. She cried as she crouched in the dirt, letting her tears drop to the ground and splatter, as she felt her life doing the same.

_SCENE THREE_

Alice toyed with the idea of not dumping Ridge. In any case, her favourite dress was still in his apartment and she wanted it back.

Ridge happened to chose that time to come back into the clinic. He gave Alice that smile again that seriously made her consider reconsidering.

"Alice! Just the beautiful girl I came to see."

Alice blushed and looked away

"Ya wanna see a movie tonight?" he continued. Alice bit her lip. Could she? After what happened?

Suddenly Alice realised that maybe they hadn't done what she'd thought they'd done.

"Hey, um, last night, did we…"

Ridge looked confused for a moment before smiling.

"No, baby! Of course not. You _never_ do that on a first date. You never go further than a peck on the cheek."

Alice suddenly felt relieved. "Then why…"

"You were too drunk to drive home in the evening," he explained. "Then I guess you were cold in the morning, so you took my blanket."

Alice nodded. She must have been verrrrry drunk not to remember.

"Anyway," Ridge went on, "I also came to give you this." He passed her a large black bag. "So, about that movie, if you don't…"

"I'd love to," Alice said. Ridge smiled. After he'd left, Alice opened the bag.

Inside was her favourite dress.


End file.
